?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

John Cairns

Originally from Backwater Idaho, John moved to the big city when he was 18 and took straight to male prostitution. He began to starve from lack of business, so in desperation he bought a $3 op shop ukulele and began busking the mean streets. The only music he knew was from old 88 records that his granmammy used to play while skinning critters and such - the likes of Hank, Willy and Waylon. Unfortunately playing the music of those gents on a $3 op shop ukulele meant that pretty soon a lynchin mob was howlin for his blood, and he had to move on real quick. Eventually fortune smiled on John and the nice fellas from The Mason Boys took him in. He still can’t play guitar for shit, but they don’t turn his amp on anyways so all good.